[Fay]

I was going to mention Tracey too, Sue

She was in the same position (and also had a few unsupportive replies), but it turned out to be such a happy ending.

I'm 100 % behind you, Lindsay!

 

[stevtel]

Thank you Sue and Fay for your kind words

As someone has said i have doubt that i will regret this for a long time after i have done it but i need to do it at this moment in time.
I don not have the time or the energy for Jester just now. I did have but circumstances changed out of my control.
This is not about me getting fed up with my dog, if it was humanly possible i would try and keep him but i am so tired all the time and i am getting run down. If i get sick who is going to look after my kids? My hubby cant take time off work as his is the only income we have.

I love my pup and want to do the best for him
Lyndsay

 

[Rebel1]

hi lyndsey
try not to get to stressed about it. you are doing the right thing for jester and your family
take care xx

 

[BlackMac]

I am new around here and I'm sorry to offend.

I have three young children and I live in a foreign country. I have no family or friends around and I work mornings. My husband works long hours and travels quite a bit. So, I think I can say that I understand Lyndsay's situation and I commend her for coming on a public forum seeking help to find a home for Jester. She could have just dropped him off at the shelter.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad and please don't flame me for my opinion. But let's be real, isn't this why there are so many Labs in shelters all over the world? Labs are great family pets and good with children, so many young families get one and soon realize they knock over the kids, break things, etc. Or they get new jobs, new homes and move and decide they can't or don't want their Lab anymore. He just doesn't fit in with their life style anymore.

Read the book, Marley and Me, about the worlds worst dog. This young couple have a Lab that is REALLY bad. When they have kids his wife begs him to get rid of the dog because she can't cope. Luckily for them they don't and their REALLY bad Lab becomes an important part of their family and the lives of their children up until the end of his life. A very touching and funny story about our beloved Lab.

I hope Jester finds his forever home soon.

 

[Keren]

Lyndsay.....Please don't think anyone is thinking bad of you, like sue said sometimes people get carried away in the heat of the moment...
I am sure there are alot of people who on reading your thread said to themselves it could SO HAVE BEEN ME writing it. I will put my hand up and say yes I too had a hard time at 7-9 months, my alfie was terrible...but i was lucky my OH was around all the time to help and people /relatives were able to have my boys so that i could walk and train alfie...I was very lucky and i do know that.... Alfie is still a little imp at times and loves nothing more than nicking food/anything off work tops and this has been getting me down...in fact just now hes run off with the loo roll cos Sam my eldest has put it on the floor....


Hope you and yours have a good christmas and see what the new year brings...

kind regards
keren.

Whatever happens please always remember you have alot of friends on LF and we will be here for you...
keren.

 

[CharlieBrewer]

Well this has certainly got rather heated!!!

OK, going to put my 5 eggs in!!

I volunteer for Lab Rescue and am sometimes flabbergasted by the reasons that people re-home their dogs, including 1 chap that called me that said his house was not big enough for his 3 children, all their Christmas presents and the dog - so the dog had to go. I was stunned to say the least. But, today I collected Alfie and placed him with his new loving family so all is good.

Anyway, Lyndsey came on here asking for help and advice and in the main I personally think that she got it. We are all labrador lovers and owners - we all love our dogs, including Lyndsey. I for 1 admire her because she has been brave enough to realise that she can not give Jester what he needs.

Whatever people personally think they we should all help each other or are we only going to help with the positive posts?

I dont think that Tracey ever got her apology - perhaps Collette will be big enough to give Lyndsey one?

Good luck Lyndsey - i hope that everything works out for you and Jester

 

[sue51]

My husband works long hours and travels quite a bit. So, I think I can say that I understand Lyndsay's situation and I commend her for coming on a public forum seeking help to find a home for Jester.

A belated welcome to LF, and well done to Mac on his obvious success

I don't think anyone can argue with your sentiment on why there are so many labs in rescue, although I don't think it is beyond comprehension that much of this could be reduced through the removal of indesriminate breeding (and the cessation of the portrayal of that "cute little Andrex pup") but it is not just labs, but all dogs that get affected by these situations.

Yes you can relate to Lyndsays personal situation, but everyone has different tolerance thresholds and breaking points, and they shouldn't be criticised for that.

Not dog related, but I was a single parent for several years. When my daughter was born, I was sleepng on someones floorboards with a three week old baby, a carrycot, no money and the clothes I stood up in.

I could have easily given in. Thankfully I had a loving family who rescued me and supported me and my choices, to return to work when she was 6 weeks old having to spend all my wages on childcare. My determination to put my past firmly behind me, saw me spend nearly 12 years studying while holding down full-time employment of three/four part-time jobs at the same time.

I am not blowing my own trumpet (if I should be blowing anyones, it is my parents, and latterly my daughter and partner for allowing me the space and support to do it) and I have encountered excessive criticism from many quarters for my actions - but 17 years on we are all reaping the benefits.

Women in similar positions may chose not to work, others, desperate with nowhere to turn, have literally abandoned their babies or given them up for adoption, and I can fully understand their decisions, who is to say I was the one in the right?

My choices were right for me, but I certainly would not openly judge anyone else for doing things differently.

She could have just dropped him off at the shelter

Yes she could, lets save our criticisms for those that really deserve it, and as all the shelters will confirm, these people are in abundance

Sue

 

[Littlelab]

Lyndsey

What you face right now is probably one of the hardest decisions of your life, and believe me it will be even harder when you stand on that doorstep handing over Jester.... I know I have had to do it, I wept buckets for weeks and I mean weeks, I still have a roll of undeveloped film, which I can't bear to get developed because I felt so guilty at letting Ellie down, my heart was torn in half that day 4 years ago.

Ellie was a Collie, she was 11 months old and a rescue dog, we unfortuately had no experince of working Collies let alone, unsocialised ones, boy did it open our eyes. We spent 8 weeks trying to 'help' her, we employed a dog trainer at £30 for an hour over a period of weeks, we even got a dog psychologist in!! But she was terrified of everything, I had to walk her when and where we wouldn't meet human or dogs or she would go all out attack due to nervous agression....But even with this I LOVED THAT DOG SO MUCH, I just couldn't cope anymore.

Ultimately we had to make the decision and let her go back to the RSPCA, it killed me that day, I couldn't even go to work.

BUT she is now a working dog, and lives with an amazing woman who has literally changed her, we kept in touch with her progress via the RSPCA as we were concerned she maybe destroyed, so there was a Very appy ending.

I really do feel for you and your plight and I wish you all the very best i the world and commend you on your courage and bravery.

 

[ozzysfamily]

Have just sat for a good 10mins reading all this, because I have not had chance since my last post. Why? I have 2 children 4yrs&8yrs. With Christmas comming up it has all got a bit hectic :roll: I felt really guilty to day because on this one and only once I have not taken Ozzy for a walk. So I have to say Lyndsey by feeling this bad just for not being able to give Ozzy a walk today, I could understand why you feel the way you do and it is out of love for Jester. So as I said befor please don't feel guilty you are doing the right thing.

Here I go now!!!!

As for the negative posts on here, can I just point out that I understand what you are saying, but this is not someone who bought a dog and after a few months just decided that they didn't what it anymore. If you want to get angry with anyone try taking it out on those who mistreat or give up their dogs for a reason that is totaly unreasonable. Lyndsey is doing this out of love and no other reason. Some poeple would of just stuck their unwanted dog out in a yard, never walk them ect. leave them sad,alone and forget about them. This is not Lyndsey, she is doing the best thing unlike some people in this world.

 

[Kev]

Hi Lindsay

It's always sad and a difficult task when someone reaches the decision to rehome their dog for whatever reasons.From your posts it's obvious that you have tried to cope and now you have reached the end of your tether. It's also obvious that you love Jester and are looking for what's best for him.

You came on here asking for help and it's nice to see fellow members supporting you, with the exception of Colette. Please don't let her comments upset you in any way, you are doing the right thing and I agree with the others that Colette owes you an apology.

Please get in touch with LRSE&C where you will get the help and support that you need.

Feel free to PM me

Kev

 

[lolasmum]

ditto all the above advice she didn't have to ask for help she could have done a million worse things than ask for help and rehome Jester in an appropriate way! Please don't critisise until you walk in another persons shoes for a day ! It would be a terrible shame if we dissuaded a desperate person to ask for help because they thought we were going to critisise them to this degree ! If someone was having such desperate times with a child we would encourage them to seek help before it went too far !!!!! Bravo for being brave enough to confront what you cannot cope with and something someone else and Jester may greatly benefit from x

 

[branwen]

I would just like to put my tenpence worth in here,I think you are doing the right thing Lyndsay,countless times I have thought of doing the same thing.Dylan was 2 a few weeks ago,he has massive health and behavioural problems,hubby works away,I live on an estate where no one takes any notice of anyone else(so different to MQ).I have no family or support around,except for my vet.I have spent many hours tearing my hair out,screaming hysterically on the phone to hubby telling him I can no longer cope with Dylan.He is extreemly hard work, and every week brings another problem,he has been going through a Hoodie stage on and off for months now,some weeks he is great and I feel good as we are getting somewhere,then out of nowhere comes the bad boy again.He has chewed the house to bits,and it always annoys me when someone says put him in a cage,It would not have worked for Dylan,he would have seen it as a PRISON,and probably added to his problems.You have to do whats right for your dog,the same as I feel I am doing right by Dylan and helping him through his problems,and I feel you are doing the right thing, hopefully he will find a loving home where he will settle down and be a happy normal lab,and its not because you have'nt tried your best for him that this has not happened with you.I understand how much pressure you are under,and never knew what stress was untill Dylan arrived,and if I had children at home too I would probably turn to the bottle.You should feel proud that you have tried your best,and even more so that you just havent got in the car and tied him up outside the nearest rescue.Good Luck with finding Jester a new home.Lynne.

 

[rosielab]

hi lyndsay hope this helps a little. i work with kev on the rescue and we understand what you are going though you are putting jester first and doing whats right by him .labradors are hard work and they all have diffrent temprements. kev and i have rehomed a lot of labs laterly all with diffrent reasons.to come on this forum and say you want your lab rehome takes guts and i take my hat of to you .to the people who donot understand they might be in your postion one day. take care lyndsay if you need help pm me .love sue+girls

 

[RosieJayne]

Come on guys... sometimes people say inflammatory remarks just to make sure that the right decision is being made. It's good sometimes to say something controversial just to 'test the mettle' so to speak.

Sometimes (not in this case as Lyndsay has explained) dogs are given up on all too easily, perhaps Colette was just makin' sure that this wasn't the case on this occasion. People have different ways of dealing with situations.

I can fully understand her passionate response as no doubt there are people who take on labs who don't fully appreciate the huge undertaking that having one really is and then give up when the going gets tough. It's those people that fully deserve all of our scorn when they dump their dogs.

Poor Lyndsay and poor Jester. Not a good situation for anyone concerned. At least Lyndsay has a number of suggestions and options from peeps on here as to what the best thing to do for Jester is. And this is the best place for advice - right?!!

 

[sue51]

Come on guys... sometimes people say inflammatory remarks just to make sure that the right decision is being made.

I don't think anyone can argue with that, and taking this thread in isolation, then it is easy to make that assumption. I am afraid, at the risk of making the situation even more heated, that this is not an isolated comment, and I have seen said person start threads in the same vein on people who are not even members of this site and therefore unable to defend themselves.

If that makes me inflammatory then so be it, but if someone can dish it out, then they should also be able to accept the same back, or justify their response.

There are ways of doing things, and my understanding of this site is it is here to help people, and I know for one that I have received no end of help and support, and hopefully made a few friends on the way, despite the odd cross word.

IMHO there is inflammatory and gentle criticism / persuasion. For some people, LF and similar sites may present one of the few, if not the only source of support they have. If those people run away and hide in despair, then it could be that both them and the dog end up suffering, and I am sure no-one would want that????

Sue

 

[elle]

I'm with you sue.... walk a mile in someones shoes before you have the right to judge...Anyway Lyndsey as long as you and jester are all right at the decidion you make IT'S THE RIGHT ONE....No matter what anyone else thinks

there but for the grace of god go i <and cassie>

 

[RosieJayne]

Fair enough Sue ...she says backing away slowly... :wink:

It's not like me to get involved in forum politics!! But you are right, people who come here for advice need to be encouraged with positive suggestions rather than being sent away with a flea in their ear.

It's a shame we can't all be as loveable as our labs eh?

 

[arwesa]

It's a shame we can't all be as loveable as our labs eh?

well I think IM loveable, not sure about the rest of you :lol:

 

[sue51]

ROFL @ RJ & DD

Can I take the 5th amendment on your last comment DD?? :lol: :wink:

 

[megaloo]

I still await an apology to Lyndsey from Colette. I think her remarks were so uncalled for.

I do hope that you will never be in any situation that you have to part with your dogs, but you never know what is round the corner. Sometimes decisions have to be made for the dog's sake not our own selfish wants. and things have to be sorted for the best interest of the dogs.