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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a gorgeous, generally well behaved ( :!: ), chocolate 9 month old boy, Eddie, who I love to bits. There's just me in the house and my two young daughters, so I am the one who feeds him, walks him and disciplines him and, as I work from home, I'm with him most of the time.

The strange thing is (and which I find a bit upsetting!) is that he doesn't show me the same affection that he shows my daughters and visiting boyfriend. We have two sofas and he's allowed on one of them (the one with the throw!) and if boyfriend or daughters sit next to him on the sofa, he'll lol all over them, paw them for affection and more often than not, lie all over them with his head on their chest and go to sleep. But if I sit next to him for some fuss, he seems a bit uncomfortable and will either go to the opposite side of the sofa or get off and lie at my feet. He just doesn't seem comfortable showing me the same affection.

I'm so envious that he's just not the same with me, yet we've all noticed how, if I leave the room to go to the bathroom, he'll lie outside the door and wait for me, or if I go upstairs, he'll lie at the bottom of the stairs until I come back ... so he obviously does love me a bit!

Does anyone know a reason why he's like this?
 

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Has he ever tried getting on the sofa without the throw and been told off by you?, if so he could be relating that and think your going to tell him off for being on the one he is allowed on.

Try sitting on the sofa he is allowed on before he gets up there and then ask him to come up with you, hopefully that may work :)
 

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I'm not big on the pack leader thing (in fact I usually loathe the mention of it) but I do wonder if it's a leadership, respect thing he has for you?

Basil goofs about and lols all over OH, but prefers to sit at my feet or will wait until invited so sit next to me, or rest his head on my knee to be asked, but he also follows me everywhere. I think it stems from the fact that I train him so I'm usually the one to reward calmness, tell him to get 'off' the furniture and don't generally encourage face licking and rough n tumble stuff in the house.

Basil also knows that if he lies on me chances are i'm going to be up again in 5 minutes...whereas OH is a safe bet as couch potato for the night :lol:
He also probably knows that after 5 minutes I'm going to be checking his coat, nails, teeth and generally pickling and bothering his rest, whereas OH leaves him be.

I don't think of either as showing 'love' as such, dogs just use different people in their lives for different things.
 
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I was going to say much the same as Sarah. It could be that he sees you as Boss Lady and the others as more on the same level/mates.

It's not lack of affection he is showing you, it's respect. :wink:
 
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Ruby's the same with me. She definitely sees OH as the 'top dog' and is far more obedient to him, but also cuddles up to him and wants to spend all her time with him when he's home. Like you, I'm with her all day and I'm also the one who disciplines her, and I suspect that has something to do with it. OH's absence makes her heart grow fonder! :)

I know that when OH was away for a fortnight, she suddenly seemed a lot more affectionate towards me, but once he was back she was back to cuddling him in the evenings, with just the occasional snuggle with me when he isn't around.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone, I suspect you're right, I never thought of it as being a respect thing. And thinking about it, yes, I am the one who'll tell him off if he's not lying on the throw, and I also tend to reward him for calmness rather than the girls who definately wind him up!

Interesting to know that some other dogs do the same.

Really interesting, thanks again x
 

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I agree - he thinks your daughters and b/friend are packmates and on the same pecking level. He thinks you're the alpha. The good news is that as the Alpha when you do show him affection he'll feel really special - I think he's waiting to have the affection from you, rather than thinking he's allowed to push himself onto you for it.

I have the same thing to a lesser extent with Rosie. Essentially, she's my dog. I feed her. I walk her. But my hubby comes through the door and she acts like she hasn't seen him in a zillion years. She's pleased to see me, but with him she just wants to cuddle up to him and lick him all over.
 

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I was going to say same as Jules and Sarah so won't repeat :lol:

Will say though that my choccie bear Baxter (really the whole familys boy) who is the light of my life and such a special boy barely lifts his head when i come home from somewhere :roll: But when push comes to shove he hangs on every word i say and always knows where i am and what i'm doing . He will wait patiently for the girls to stop leaping around wetting their you know whats because mum's home .

Reading the posts mine all snuggle with me and were i am they are even when everyone's home. They are definatley my dogs in every way possible and i wouldn't have it any other way :D

Be greatful that your dog respects you would rather that than one pushing the boundaries with me :wink:
 
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