Labradors Forums banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
224 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The mother of all yellow beasts and how to get your handler to slash his wrists



The Yellow Beast had practised all kinds of retriever skills for months with her handler in order to prepare for an unofficial dummy test and her handler had been increasingly pleased with the progress. It seemed as if she had forgotten all the devious manners she had had when returning the dummies, also the basics of the lining seemed to have stuck in her mind. Free search didn’t look that bad either!

The only downside was her season: she was already 13 months old, but hadn’t yet had a single heat. The Beast as an ever so obedient girl decided to start her season right that moment, because it was so eagerly expected. Thursday evening was spent wiping the floor of blood drops. How nice, on Sunday the pair should’ve been on that competition. The concerned handler called the arranger asking, whether it was completely impossible to take part. The organisers told him it was okay, as it was an unofficial event, but they would be in turn as a last couple after everybody else. The final rehearsal gave a slight insight to the fact that perhaps it was best not to wait for a smashing winner result on Sunday. The Creature had her mind occupied more on potential fiancés rather than concentrating on the tasks given to her by the handler. Well, it was a bit late to cancel the attendance, a little excitement makes life worth living, isn’t it so?

Finally it was time to leave and head for the test they had been waiting for many weeks. The atmosphere in the car was fractionally dubious, the handler had no idea what to expect. When they arrived at the scene, there were already a huge amount of dogs and handlers waiting for their turn: 32 teams each having three contestants and 40 dogs attending the individual test. The Yellow Beast was left in the car, while her handler and other members of the team got acquainted with the terrain and tasks. Each of the test areas was in a typical Finnish forest and the tasks appeared completely normal. Nothing that was beyond the skills. It was late afternoon, when our Hero had her turn. She acted surprisingly well in the waiting area, she even laid herself down and yawned. This behaviour wrapped the handler inside a false feeling of assurity, he just didn’t see that rotten halo, which was glittering around the Beast. Underneath her forehead she was hiding a pair of longish devil horns, but she kept them away from the sight of her handler.

The first task in order was free search. The area, where there were six dummies hidden, was rather narrow and there were three minutes time to find and fetch all six. The Yellow Beast soared off with the speed that would make even Usain Bolt getting green of envy and she disappeared somewhere behind the horizon. The handler hadn’t got the faintest clue, where his dog was speeding off. Amazingly, the Beast had found her way straight to the dummy that was furthest away. She was already returning it, when she heard the handler whistle. She dropped the dummy in an instant and returned to the stunned handler without it. Well, it’s always nice to catch up with new things, especially when attending a test! Besides, she thought, the dummy was certainly close enough for him to get it himself. It must be boring just stand there, a little bit of hiking would do good for the handler’s condition – wouldn’t it?

The Creature had no idea, how immensely thrilling it was in the tests. There were tons of new smells around, lots of friendly people and fellow dogs. The presence of audience made her to show her best, as back home there was never anyone else watching their practise than just an odd squirrel. The long horns swinging back and forth on her forehead she managed to sniff all the interesting smells that had come out there during the day. And trust me, there were lots of them! During the given three minutes our Hero had also time to sneak off to the neighbouring area, where the markings took place. She thought it must be handy to know, what kind of tasks there were ahead of her.

When coming back from that area, she said a warm hello to a couple of Golden boys waiting for their turn. When she finally returned, she thought the handler looked a bit distressed. She decided to be a well-mannered girl. She grabbed a coffee cup from an open bag on the ground, belonging to one of the organisers, and returned the cup to the handler with an extremely satisfied expression on her face. She was unable to open the thermos flask, she left that to the handler, though. Unfortunately retrieving a coffee cup didn’t earn her any extra points, but because at this point the handler looked so miserable, she also fetched one more dummy.

The Yellow Beast waiting for her turn to attend the last task.


After an hour more waiting it was time for a grim-looking handler and his happy dog to enter the second task of the day. There were two linings and one double mark. The lining looked easy: two dummies on the trot. Our Hero kind of felt obliged to give her handler a feeling of success and the first one did go well, as if taken directly from the manual of basic retrieving. The latter one proved to be a disaster. The Creature scraped the moss high up in the air, some of it landing on the face of the poor handler, and vanished through the thicket in a nanosecond. She left both her ears and nose at the spot, where she was sent off to work, but took her fast legs with her, however.

The dog was not come back, no matter how hard the handler tried to call or whistle her. She was inevitably having the time of her life wandering around the woods. Crikey, there were so many interesting tracks, especially the male tracks. Ummmm, she was sniffing thoroughly, she certainly hadn’t smelled such odours back home. As she was planning her date so eagerly, she obviously forgot being there in company, not alone.

At some point she accidentally happened to return to the area, where she was sent to do her job. What a nice surprise she had waiting for her: the handler was still standing there at the same spot. It was so kind of him! He really didn’t have to wait for her coming, she would’ve found her way back to the car just by herself. And how he looked so vexed? She DID kind of do the lining, she DID move forward, errr, perhaps a bit longer than the handler had planned. In her opinion, she had gained ground precisely a suitable distance, but the handler deeply disagreed. She was sure to have found dummies further away, if she had gone on enough, to the next county for instance. Too bad, the judge didn’t appreciate her swirls in the heart of the forest, he even talked about the situation slipping out of control. Not true, not true at all, she thought. She had everything under control all the time.

It was time for the last part of the test. The handler was totally resigned. He saw some juicy headlines of the tabloids floating in front of his eyes: “The police captured a yellow, horny beast after it had terrorised the market place of Tampere (a nearby town). The terrified passers-by told the police that the beast had licked several eye-glasses dim with drool and caused horrible injuries to the legs of en elderly woman by waving its tail so vigorously. It had also emptied the bin of one of the fishmongers. They are not quite sure about the species of the monster, but the eye-witnesses had told it to resemble a horny Labrador retriever. Whoever had lost this animal, please contact the local police.”

When the markings were thrown, the Yellow Friend actually had patience to sit down unleashed, until she was given the permission to fetch. She didn’t even run off, but contented herself sniffing the closest bushes. The dummies? Well she must have stumbled across the first thrown dummy, which she returned without any further squiggles. The other she didn’t bother to find, she left that one to the handler.

The result of the day was a very thin bag of points. The handler thought she had even managed to fall below the lowest standards, which made him to look for the nearest source of razor blades. How on earth could she do that? A dog with an excellent scent, marvellous free search and unbeatable skills to mark under normal circumstances! He started to have gnawing doubts about the fact that there may be something extraterrestrial lying beneath the skin of a seemingly ordinary-looking yellow dog, who only pretended being a Labrador as her dayjob!

This is a true story, unfortunately, although slightly spiced. All this happened a bit more than a year ago and the main star is our lovely and equally terrible yellow bitch.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,440 Posts
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Brilliant! The yellow beast sounds perfectly under control!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
45,877 Posts
LOl DW, that was a lovely read, trials and tribulations of trialling with an in season bitch it seems :lol: , hope she`s redeemed herself in the year since this happened :D
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
14,224 Posts
Brilliant!!!

Don't you just love a dog with a bit of character and initiative!!!



Eve Neo and Bramble
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
224 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Eve: she certainly doesn't lack character. That's exactly why we both love and hate her. She can give her everything and above, but she is also very capable of showing the middlefinger to you (or middletoe, actually). But I think she will settle by age (or not).

Barney2007: yes, she knows how to have fun (and make fun of us). She is... well, she just is!
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top