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241 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Anyone got any lab jokes? This is one that my mate sent to me:

A man is sitting in an airliner, which is about to takeoff when another man with a Labrador Retriever occupies the two empty seats beside him.

The Lab is situated in the middle, and the first man is looking quizzically at the dog when the second man explains that they work for the airline.

The airline rep says, "Don't mind Sniffer; he's a sniffing dog, the best there is; I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work." The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Sniffer, search."

Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm.

He says, "Good boy." The airline rep turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this and her seat number for the police who will apprehend her on arrival."

"Fantastic!" replies the first man.

Once again he sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on the handler's arm.

The airline rep says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again I'm making a note of this and the seat number."

"I like it!" says the first man.

A third time the rep sends Sniffer to search the aisles. Sniffer goes up and down the plane and after a while sits down next to someone. He then comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and poops all over the aisle and the seat.

The first man is really grossed out by this behavior from a supposedly well trained sniffing dog and asks, "What the hell is going on with this stupid dog?"

The handler nervously replies, "He just found a bomb"

Tickled me!! :lol:

241 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
It tickled me when I got it :p

Have another one that he sent me but not sure about putting it on here!!

5,163 Posts
How dogs and men are the same

This is a funny one :D

How labradors and men are the same 8) :D 8)

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

3. Both mark their territory.

4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.

5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

7. Neither does any dishes.

8. Both fart shamelessly.

9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

10. Both like dominance games.

11. Both are suspicious of the postman.

12. Neither understands what you see in cats.

241 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we have our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one! And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code!

Dachshund: I can't even reach the stupid lamp.

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he's finished rewiring my house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go ahead! Make me!

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze dah-ling, let the servants.......

Labrador: Oh me, me, pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I, huh? Huh? Can I? 8)

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.


Chihuahua: Yo quiero taco bulb.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, it's right there....

Greyhound: It isn't moving; who cares?

Cairn Terrier: I'll attack it!

Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? LIGHT BULB? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
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