Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:16 am Post subject: MESSAGE TO MY DOGS
A friend posted this, thought I would share!
Posted very low on my refrigerator door:
Dear Dogs,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food dish, nor do I find that aesthe...tically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. I know this for a fact, it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, yelp, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been singing in the bathroom for years - canine comments are neither required or appreciated.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dogs' butt. I cannot stress this enough!
Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:36 pm Post subject: Re: MESSAGE TO MY DOGS
Patriciat wrote:
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
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