Some really beautiful replies, thank you for taking the time to share. The thing being, these words and thoughts weren't mine, they were passed along from an author I read from a guy she met, but it touched me very much. I laid in the bath reading with tears pouring down my cheeks and it was a real 'eureka' moment to help me get through some of the tougher days.
I read a post from someone this morning on here about their dog being diagnoised with a fatal illness and their devestation. And I know it must be soul destroying. It prompted me to think again about what i'd read and how it helped me.
Grief is a total soul destroying, brain consuming, body tiring nightmare. Any small scrap of comfort is a chink in the dark clouds. The comforting thing is that of all the people I deal with who have lost dogs from 8 week old puppies, to 16 year old veterans, always start by saying 'I'm not sure I can put myself through that heartach ever again...' and I tell them, thats good you feel that way, don't rush anything, give yourself time...and inevitably they ring or email or I meet them a few months later and they grin and show me their new puppy/rescue. I always say 'I thought you couldn't ever do it again...' with a gentle smile, and they always laugh and say 'well.... you can't NOT can you, they are part of us! The house/my life/my heart is EMPTY without a dog!'
Di xx
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The boys!
Read: Wylanbriar Dog Blog on the website: Updated! 1st February 12´!
Di, could you make this thread into a sticky - perhaps in the Rainbow Bridge section? There may be people who don't need this today or who aren't even on here yet who would really find this helpful/comforting in those very toughest of times, for those reasons I think it would be good to make it easy to find.
Thx Di for this post, I couldn't respond earlier today as Lincoln was at the vets undergoing x-rays and in my mind I had convinced myself that I would never see him again..such is my mind, but I always prepare for worst case scenario.
However it gave me an insight into a time that will come that I will have to say Goodbye, it scares me to my core, I cannot imagine him not being here, I have hugely over identified with him, more than any other living thing I know..that will be my pain to deal with
Yet I know this is my problem, not his, he will slip away someday and of course I hope to be there with him, but he will have no concept that we will not be together again, that is mine to deal with.
Ultimately for me the pain will be about my feelings, my loss my anguish, not his..~ it is all about my feelings, and I have planned how to respond to this, I will either get a puppy, a black one or I will scour the rescues and get a female black lab, and I will pour my loss into new life as I think this is probably the healthiest response for me. I know me, loss will make me morose and new life will absorb me, and I will want to love again..
I guess we all deal with death differently, but I prefer to think about it now, and know how it will be, it will be awful, but that helps me celebrate my dogs in the now, and I hope I do that every day, for me that is having the camera with me and snapping those moments of joy, it is playing on the rug and cuddling on the sofa, it is precious moments like today when I picked Lincoln up from the vets and right now when I know they are healthy and loved and asleep beside me, I treasure today
I don't normally read Rainbow Bridge because it always makes me cry, but I had some grotty news yesterday and for some reason was drawn to this section and this post. I haven't read the whole post but the intial thread has really helped me, thank you.
My news is much less awful than many on here have to deal with, and I am aware of that. But to me it has been a thump in the guts. Briefly, my darling Fife, who will be 12 in May, had masses of mast cell tumours a few years ago and had many opereations to remove them. Since then he has 3 monthly check ups at the vet and has a few other lumps removed but none for 16 months. So I had been lulled into a lovely feeling of security. Only to find another lump last week which is a mature mast cell.
My utterly wonderful vets are having a discussion as to whether to recommend removal or not. I suspect we will remove it. Fife is fit, well, happy and in great condition. But my feet have been knocked from under me as I feel "Oh God, here we go again". He has had around 16 tumours removed - how much more is it fair to put him though?
As I say, it is nothing to what many of you have been through, and we will cope. Fife will be happy and fit to the end of his days - I will make sure of that. He doesn't know what is going on. And I pray to God that he has plently of days left.
Thank you to everyone who posts on here who helps me see there are many far worse off than me.
My heart broke when I lost my last girl, she was my first ever dog, a council pound rescue and was my baby, but, that was MY heart that broke and she slipped away after a nasty but thankfully short period of time following a rare and aggressive brain tumour knowing no different and hopefully dreaming of chasing squirrels
I probably let her go on a few days longer than I should have but that's my mistake and I deal with the guilt
It is really comforting to acknowledge that they know no different and Roz's post brought tear to my eyes.
Letting them go is the hardest thing ever and for me one of life's big unanswered questions has always been WHY they can't live as long as us, but actually I think I know the answer. They are so special and each one of them teaches us so much that we have to own multiple dogs in a lifetime to get all of those learning from them (if you know what I mean).
Penny and Millie are 8 in May and it often pops into my head as to how long they'll be with us, when I do think about it, it hurts SO much.
I'm going to give those girls of mine extra big cuddles tonight and thank my lucky stars that, for now, I have them.
This has provoked so many thoughts in me, particularly how we all cope so differently. I too feel that grief is a purely selfish emotion, it truly is about how we feel.
Having said that I have had my share of grief having lost my first husband at the age of 43, both my parents, aunts, uncles and treasured pets.
People do say the most strange things, I remember when my husband died the first thing that most people said to me was 'you're joking'. Then realised what they had said and felt awful.
The reason this has provoked so much thought for me is that I truly do believe that it was my husband's right time even though he was so young. Maybe that was just my brains way of coping with it all. Eleven months later I lost my precious cocker spaniel, who was so special, I didn't realise how special until now when I have other dogs. He was my first puppy and he just trained himself, not clickers or whistles he just did it.
I am religious and so for me death holds no fear, it is what we are all meant to do, for those that die it is so special. It is just so hard on those of us left behind.
Now I am crying so I am going to find a post that will make me laugh. Too many memories.
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