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furrypaws  Offline
early riser
Joined: Oct 27, 2006
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Posts: 28
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715 LabPounds
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No.of Labs: 1
Lab Names: bonnie
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Location: stockport
Gender: 
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 Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:22 pm Post subject: my bonnie`s gone to rainbow bridge. |
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hi,
i`ve not been on here for a while, i lost my login details.
not sure if anyone will remember me, i got a golden lab a few years back, bonnie, from a guy through the loot. she had not been treated good and would not eat for a while unless i put the food in her mouth myself. she was petrified of the hoover and would wet herself running away from the hoover. i managed to get her eating properly and she ended up loving her food. but i could not get her to be calm when i had the hoover on, she would just go into another room but the wetting herself stopped.
she blosseomed into a very loving dog, my best friend. she was a kind natured, funny girl. we didnt go for walks everyday, she was very strong on her lead and after i injured my ankles i didnt feel confidant holding her lead so we`d wait till weekends when my partner could hold her leads. we went to blackpool, southport, the countrysides, parks etc and she would dart straight to the water no matter how cold or dirty it was. i would put pieces of meat or fish in my mouth and she would gently take it off me. i trusted her with all my heart and dreaded this sad day.
in january i got her a friend and they bonded straight away, like husband and wife. every morning i`d wake up and she`d be either on the bottom of the bed or at my side of the bed on the floor.
we decided on sunday to take the dogs and the children for a nice country walk and to feed the ducks. it was one of the best days out we`d had, bonnie loved it running in the wind, swimming in the water, her husband, robbie, was a wimp and only paddled. we got them a bacon butty and split it in half for them. when we got back to the car she was still happy, sat in the front with me. we pulled up outside our house, i got robbie out the car and let my partner take bonnie but bonnie got out of the house and ran back into the car. my partner went to get bonnie back out of the car and she became possessed and bit him 3 times on his hand we was so shocked and could`nt understand what had happened, i tried to get her out of the car and she went for my face. we left her for 15 minutes and i tried again but as soon as i opened the front door she started barking and showing her teeth so i walked back in and was watching her through the front window. she was sat on my seat looking in the house with the most sad, vacant face i`d ever seen. after an hour i decided to try again, she`d had no water or food appart from in the morning and that half a bacon butty. there was just no way of getting near the car. i so upset as i phoned the police and explained what had happened, the police on the phone had to tell me to breath as i couldn`t talk for crying. he said he would send the police round to assess bonnie and that she might have to be put down. an hour later they phoned to say it was not their job to deal with bonnie and that i must have hurt her to send her like that, i could not beleive what they were saying to me. i phoned the rspca, they told me to phone the pdsa who were great, they gave me loads of numbers to call but said that it sounds like bonnie had a tumour on her brain or a brain cesiure. nobody would help, the only option i had was to say i had a dangerous unwanted dog and they told me they would get bonnie out of the car and put her to sleep but it wouldn`t be a nice way of doing it. i couldn`t have that happen and it was now 3 hours that bonnie had been in the car, without water or food.
we decided to throw a sheet over bonnie to see if that calmed her down, we had to fight with her for 30 minutes to get a lead and mussle on her and bring her to the kitchen. she went worse in the kitchen so i contacted pdsa again and asked if i could have some sedatives to calm her down. this was totaly out of bonnies character. we went to pet meds to collect the sedatives but only for calming her down the next morning so the pdsa could see her and see what was wrong.
when we returned bonnie had calmed down, i took her mussle off her and gave her a drink and some food. she jumped up at me and rested her head on my chest. she was the normal bonnie back again and i couldn`t beleive how she had been before. when the children went to bed we let bonnie in the front room with her mussle off (we had the mussle for her husband, he`s a greyhound so need it for walking incase a rabbit comes by.) she jumped on the sofa next to me and was panting so bad there was a horibble noise coming from her breathing and she couldn`t get comfy, her belly had swollen out and looked as if she was pregnant and ready to give birth so i phoned the pdsa back and was advised to take her to pet meds to get seen asap. it was horrible driving there, i knew that i would be leaving without her.
she had brown stuff coming out of her eyes and she just kept lookin at me with sad eyes. the vet checked her over and said that he would take her in for the night as there was something wrong with her breathing, but he said that he felt it was wrong to have her in a cage with people she didnt know having needles prodding her and then to be put to sleep the next day as he said he would not trust her around children (we have 4) incase she does it to them. i was in bits. i didnt know what to do. it wasnt in bonnies nature to be the way she had. i didnt want to end her life but there was something in her eyes that told me that it was the best thing to do. i signed the paper and was there when they did it. i tried my hardest not to cry, she didnt like me crying. when she`d gone i broke down. i couldnt beleive she had gone. the fun we`d had that day, how cruel i was for ending her life. i`d had her for nearly 4 years and it seemed like i`d had her all my life. i can`t cope. i`m just crying all the time, i`ve not slept for 2 nights. i made the wrong choice and i have to live with that for the rest of my life. robbie`s pinning for her but there`s no way i am getting another dog, no other dog could replace her. the guilt i feel is so strong i can`t breath, i am constantly thinking about her unaware that she would not come back home. but when i look back at the past few weeks, she`d gone very quiet, would sit upstairs away from us, or in the back diggin a hole which she`d never done before and it`s huge, she`d hide in the wendy house in the back garden, she stopped eating as much and had been sick on saturday and she`d also growled at the children twice last week but we never thought that anything was wrong with her.
we couldn`t afford her ashes as we dont get paid till thursday and nobody could lend us the money, but i was told yesterday that i could have asked for her body and get her cremated when we had the money, when i phoned to ask, her body had already been taken to the crematorium. i am so angry, hurt and upset. i deaded the day she would go to rainbrow bridge and i`m feeling so guilty for sending her there so soon. is it normal to feel like this? was i wrong for making the choice i did? am i wrong for not wanting another dog and letting robbie pine for bonnie? i`m devastated and dont know what to do.
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Hersheys Offline
Pack Leader
Joined: May 10, 2005
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Posts: 16475
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20675 LabPounds
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No.of Labs: 1
Lab Names: Hershey (Follytower Chocolate Soljar) sunrise 11 April 1999 sunset 14 July 2011
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Location: Surrey
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:31 pm Post subject: |
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First of all I am soo Sorry this has happened, Bonnie probably knew something was wrong, dogs cant tell us exactly whats wrong its little things that make us think. Her character changing so drastic was a big sign and I would have worried about her being with children as well, I personally think you did the right thing, her last walk sounded like a lovely day, try and remember her like that.
Bonnie is in a safe warm place now with no pain and only happy memories of the life you and your family gave her.
Run free Bonnie sweet girl run free....
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Jaynemaria Offline
lead trained
Joined: Oct 15, 2007
Age: 45
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22118 LabPounds
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No.of Labs: 2
Lab Names: Max and Sam
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Location: Desborough northants
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:32 pm Post subject: |
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what a sad sad story. 
Run free bonnie
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Jemima Offline
The Mini GT Queen
Joined: Jun 17, 2008
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35179 LabPounds
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No.of Labs: 1
Lab Names: Lucy 01/10/2007
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Location: Guildford, Surrey
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:34 pm Post subject: |
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I am SO sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through with Bonnie, what a horrible decision to have to make, and an awful situation to be in! You had Bonnie's best interests at heart, and that of your family, and you should not question you choice. Be safe in the knowledge that Bonnie knew she was well and truly loved, and that you showed her what life can really be like. Run free Bonnie, run free xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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furrypaws Offline
early riser
Joined: Oct 27, 2006
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Posts: 28
Posts Left: 0
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715 LabPounds
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No.of Labs: 1
Lab Names: bonnie
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Location: stockport
Gender:
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Items
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:34 pm Post subject: |
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thank you hersheys. i hope she doesn`t hate me for what i did. and i hope she`s swimming as much as she can now! xx
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